Parenting in Difficult Times

We had a very powerful lesson in our combined Relief Society / Priesthood meeting today.

(For my friends who aren't familiar with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, let me explain: Relief Society is the women's organization of the church, and all worthy male members of the church, ages 12 and older are given Priesthood responsibilities. Each Sunday, our worship services consist of a Sacrament meeting, where the whole congregation meets together to be taught together and to partake of the Sacrament, as instituted by Jesus Christ at the Last Supper. Then, we break into our Sunday School classes, and in our third hour - yes, we have three hours of worship each Sunday - the women meet for Relief Society, the men meet for Priesthood lessons, and the children meet together for Primary. When there are five Sundays in a month, however, the fifth Sunday is a special meeting where the Relief Society and Priesthood come together for a joint lesson on a pertinent topic. These are usually my favorite lessons!)

Today, our lesson was about an issue that extends far beyond the boundaries of our church community. Our youth today are under attack. They face issues at an earlier and earlier age that many of us never dreamed of dealing with when we were very young. Even elementary school-aged children face tough choices when it comes to pornography, drugs and alcohol (and so much more)! As I've mentioned before, we can't wait until a child is "ready" to handle a particular issue to introduce the subject. If we don't have the courage to open clear lines of communication with our children about sex and drugs and all of the other tough issues when they are still much too young to engage in these behaviors, they simply won't be prepared to make strong choices for themselves when they are "old enough!"

We watched a short, but powerful video produced by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints about the importance of "staying within the lines." Just as in any sporting event, you must stay within the boundaries set for the competition if you want to make progress, we have boundaries that help us make progress in life as well. We are happier when we stay within the lines that the Lord has set for us. (Here is the video:)



The conversation that followed was powerful. One thought that was repeatedly expressed was that we are not here to be "friends" to our children. We need to have the courage to be PARENTS! I agree, with one slight correction to the statement...

We are not here to be our kids' buddies, but a true Parent is the best kind of true friend! I've always believed that a true friend is one who will lift you up and help you to become the best person you can be. That is the kind of friend we should be for our children. Lift them when they fall. Love them when they are not perfect. Let them know you expect greatness from them. Be there when they need a shoulder to cry on, but have the courage to let them face the consequences of their mistakes. Our children should know that they can come to us with anything that's troubling them. They should know that we will love them, no matter how royally they screw up. They should know that we will do anything and everything in our power to help them learn to be truly happy. And they should understand that sometimes, in order to help them learn, we will have to be "mean." That we won't clean up the messes they've made, but we'll help them find the brooms and mops and antibacterial cleanser (real and metaphorical) and teach them how to clean up after themselves.

That's what a True Friend will do for you. A buddy is someone who you can laugh with when times are good, but a True Friend will encourage you to keep going when times are tough. And if we want to be effective parents, we need to be True Friends for our children.

Book Review: THE MAP OF ME by Tami Lewis Brown

This morning, I get to spend some time volunteering at my daughters' elementary school library, and it's put me in the mood for a good middle grade novel. THE MAP OF ME by Tami Lewis Brown is one that I've recommended to several of the young readers I know, so it's perfect for this morning's review.

Twelve-year-old Margie feels small and insignificant.  Compared to Peep, her nine-year-old genius sister, who skipped third, fourth and fifth grades, Margie knows she’s nothing special.  But when they come home from school one day to find an empty house, everything changes.  Mom has gone, leaving only a hastily scrawled note on the back of an advertisement torn out of the newspaper – a note that says simply “I have to go.”  Margie knows it’s up to her to bring her mother home and save the day.  This is her one big chance to be the hero and save her family.  She decides that the ad on the back of her mother’s note has to be a clue, so she kidnaps Peep and steals her father’s car, determined to find the International Poultry Hall of Fame, where her mother is certainly searching for the last piece to her chicken canister collection. 

An endearing story about love and family and finding yourself, Margie’s quest will resonate with anyone who has ever wondered where and how they fit in. This book isn't just for girls who have lost a parent or those who feel overshadowed by a sibling. It's for anyone who has ever felt insignificant or alone in a crowd.

It's the Differences that Make the World Beautiful

 Yesterday, I took my family to see the Albuquerque Botanic Gardens. The gardens were absolutely beautiful, with several different, themed gardens to enjoy, and of course we snapped lots and lots of photographs of the beautiful flowers and other plants. As the day wore on, I began to notice something very interesting about the pictures we were taking. The wide shots, which usually encompassed several different types of flowers and plants in one, were absolutely breathtaking...

But every time I tried to get a close-up shot of an individual flower or two within the grouping, the individual flaws and imperfections of that particular flower became more apparent. When taken all together, I saw and focused on the beauty of the flowers, and it was only when I tried to find that one, magical, picture perfect plant that I came away disappointed.

 

I realized that life is like that. No one person is completely perfect, absolutely devoid of flaws. We all wish we could change something about ourselves. Maybe you want to lose a few pounds, add some muscle, change the color or style of your hair, alter the shape of your nose... Or maybe you have a bad habit you'd like to break (or a good habit you want to adopt)... The point is, we're all works in progress. We all stumble from time to time. We get scraped and bruised and completely run down from time to time, but we all have the potential to become better.

 

But the great thing about life is that we don't have to be perfect to be beautiful. And when we all work together for a common goal, we can rely on each others' strengths to pull us through where we may be weak.

 



The flowers at the Botanical Gardens weren't trying to put each other down or compete for the title of "most beautiful plant in the garden." Growing side-by-side, accenting and even supporting each other as they grew together, they created a beautiful display that makes hundreds of people each day stop and stare. Wouldn't it be nice if we could do the same for each other? If we could work together to make our world a better place, remembering that a daisy isn't any less beautiful simply because it isn't a rose? Wouldn't it be great if we didn't spend so much time trying to make everyone else do and act and think just like us, but learned to love and accept the unique beauty of everyone around us, remembering that it's the differences that make our world truly beautiful? Wouldn't it be great if we could learn a lesson from the flowers?

Book Review: STIR IT UP by Ramin Ganeshram

STIR IT UP by Ramin Ganeshram is more than just a fun story. It's also a great cookbook, containing delicious recipes for the Indian cuisine that serves as a backdrop for the novel.

Anjali Krishnan is passionate about cooking.   Working in her family’s roti shop in Queens, she experiments with recipes that combine her Trinidadian culture and family traditions with the influences of the multicultural world she lives in.  Though her parents hope Anjali will make the family proud by gaining admittance into the exclusive Stuyvesant high school, she has other plans.  Anjali dreams of attending a public school, where she can participate in C-CAP, a culinary arts study program, and ultimately becoming a famous chef with her very own Food Network TV show. 

When a contest for young chefs promises a chance at her dreams, Anjali knows she’s destined for greatness.  Unfortunately, the contest tryouts are the same day as the Stuyvesant entrance exam, and Anjali’s parents insist that her studies must come before her hobby.   Taking a chance at her dream means defying her parents and her family traditions, but Anjali can’t let the chance of a lifetime slip away. 

Chock full of real (and delectable) recipes, this novel is a treat for the mind as well as the taste buds.  The chicken curry recipe has become a family favorite, and it's super easy! (We've used variations of the recipe as the basis for many, many family dinners, since we read the book a few months ago.) I recommend this book for anyone who loves cooking, and anyone who has ever had to make difficult choices when following their dreams.

Staying Safe vs. Staying in the Loop

On Thursday, one of the literary agents I follow on twitter, Pam van Hylckama, was attacked. At first, she thought she was a victim of an attempted car jacking. (Her dog bit the man and he ran away. I've never been a huge fan of dogs, but I've gotta admit, that dog is kind of my hero right now!!) - But when she called the police to report the crime, they didn't think it looked like a random car jacking. Upon further investigation, including a look into her email, the police determined that the attacker was probably a disgruntled author she had rejected. He'd responded to her rejection with an "I hate you and want you dead" email, but apparently, agents receive this kind of horrendous response from whining authors a lot, and so she had ignored it. She tried to explain to the police that this email didn't mean anything, but they insisted on investigating. Sure enough, they found the man at the address he'd included in his query letter, and he had the dog bites on his arm to prove he was the one they were looking for.

I wasn't on twitter much that day, so I missed the drama as it unfolded, but when I came back online on Friday morning, I was horrified! It's no wonder so many literary agents these days don't want to respond at all to submissions they aren't interested in. How many of them would have thought that this would be such a high risk job? The saddest part of all was that she ignored the threat when it first came in, because literary agents get such hate mail all the time!

According to Ms. Van Hylckama, it appears that her attacker found her via her status updates on social media sites, as she checked in to various locations and updated her status to let people know where she would be.

Of course, any sane person would agree that this attack was not her fault. Merely letting friends and co-workers know "I'm going to such and such book signing tonight at XYZ bookstore" is NOT inviting an attack from some wacko, but as she said, "We all have to be careful about telling the world where we are all the time in this age."

The sad truth is that the world is full of crazies, and we need to be careful. It's one thing to let your close friends and family know where you'll be and when you'll be there. It's another to publicly share real-time vacation photos and travel itineraries that scream "My house is empty for the next 2 weeks, just in case you want to burglarize it!"

In the last few days, I've been going over my online presence, trying to find any security lapses in my own judgement. I used to be more diligent about not letting things slip, because I remember the fear of hiding behind the couch while my stalker went from window to window, peering in to determine whether or not I was actually home. (I was never actually assaulted by this guy, but it was still terrifying to realize he wasn't going to take "no" for an answer!) I'm not a celebrity, I don't have a high-profile job that keeps me in the public eye, and I have to admit that I'm not nearly as cute as I was seventeen years ago, when I was being followed by a nut job, but it doesn't hurt to be careful, and letting your guard down might be a mistake you can't afford to make.

I'm not saying you have to completely go off the grid. Use the tools you need to stay in the loop with your friends, family and co-workers. But pay attention to the things you're making public. It's better to be safe than sorry!

A Legacy of Creativity

My grandfather died a few weeks ago. I got the call as I was travelling from Baltimore, Maryland to our new home in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Grandpa had been sick for a while, and so the news wasn't entirely unexpected, but even when you know it's coming, the death of a loved one is a difficult pill to swallow.

Suddenly, the sight of the moon brought tears to my eyes as I remembered the way Grandpa used to transform into an "earwolf" under the light of a full moon. (He said the world had plenty of werewolves, so when his time came to transform, he turned into an "earwolf" instead. He would chase the grandkids around the yard, and we all knew that if he caught us, he would "eat" our ears - which tickled like crazy, because of his full beard!)

My siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles all promptly posted tributes to Grandpa on their respective facebook pages and online social networks. I wanted to do the same, but I couldn't. Nothing I could say or do would ever be enough to sum up the life of this great man, who meant so much to so many.

Last weekend, I travelled with my family to Salt Lake City for Grandpa's funeral. I spent the weekend reminiscing and reconnecting with family members I haven't seen in far too long. And as we remembered my Grandfather, I realized that my entire life is a tribute to Grandpa.

People always tell me that they wish they could be as creative as I am. "I would never even think to make purses out of recycled grocery bags!" "What? You built a playhouse loft bed for your kids without even following any pre-made plans? How did you even know how?"

But with grandparents like mine, is it really any wonder that I can't think inside the box?

I remember going to yard sales and thrift stores on weekends with my grandparents, to help them find torn leather jackets that they could purchase for pennies and cut up into pieces. They would turn the leather into beautiful Native American-inspired art pieces: dreamcatchers and wall hangings to celebrate the cultures and traditions of many different Native American tribes. Where others saw only a torn coat, no longer good for anything, my grandparents saw beauty waiting to be born.

The creative spirit went far beyond the beautiful artwork my grandparents created together. I never heard Grandpa say "that can't be done," and he wasn't one to sit back and wait for someone else to figure out how to do it. I can't even begin to count the number of times when someone would idly comment "wouldn't it be cool if we had a device to perform task XYZ?" Grandpa would get that familiar gleam in his eyes, and then he'd disappear for a while: scouring thrift shops, yard sales and his own stash of odds and ends until he'd compiled the components he needed to create such a device.

One shining example of Grandpa's creative spirit: Not long ago, he wanted to take several of his great-grandchildren to Thanksgiving Point (in Utah) for the day. Because his physical health didn't allow him to hike and run and chase and carry the little ones on his shoulders (like he did when I was a child), this was a slightly daunting prospect. Never fear! Grandpa always finds a way. He found several wagons and linked them together to form a train, with his electric scooter as the engine and a large wagon containing my Grandmother in her wheelchair as the caboose. And then he took his great-grandchildren on an outing they'll never forget.

Grandpa taught me to see the beauty and the myriad of possibilities in the world around me. Is it any wonder, then, that I'm driven to imagine and to create?

How Do You Know You Don't Like It?

When I was a little girl, my parents had one hard and fast rule at the dinner table. We weren't allowed to say that we didn't like it if we hadn't even tried it. And because our taste buds change over time, we had to give our least favorite foods a try every now and again, just in case. Because we were encouraged required to keep an open mind and to try new things, I discovered a love for many foods I otherwise wouldn't have tried, based on the look/smell/texture alone. (FYI: It took me 23 years to learn to like cantaloupe, and I hate shrimp every time I try it, but even though I'm no longer living with my parents, I still make myself try it at least every 18 months, just in case my taste buds have changed.)

Over the years, I've learned that my parents' dinner time rule applies to much more than exotic new foods. Any time we make up our minds about someone or something without "trying it" first, we run the risk of missing out on something wonderful.

When I was in elementary school, there was a girl in my class who had been terribly burned when she was very small. She had disfiguring scars across her face, and most of my classmates avoided her because she looked strange. But if they had taken time to get to know her, they would have discovered what I already knew: Tammy was amazing! She was sweet and kind, and she had a way of always seeing the best in people. She had a way of looking past the superficial and seeing the good inside a person's soul. My life wouldn't have been the same without her influence.

A few years ago, when we moved to Maryland, I spent quite a bit of time researching the schools in the area and chose my home in part based on where my children would attend school.  I prayed about it and felt certain that this would be the best environment for my family. And so I bought a house, secure in the conviction that my children would receive the best education possible.

But then several of my new friends and acquaintances questioned my decision to send my children to the middle school for which we were districted. One of my best friends moved to a neighboring town mainly to avoid the very school I'd picked. And many people urged me to do the same. Apparently, the middle school I'd researched so thoroughly had a reputation. Everyone in town knew that it simply wasn't a good school. The academics were substandard (no matter what the standardized test results said), the extracurriculars were laughable and the environment was downright scary. I couldn't afford to move, and we arrived in Maryland too late in the year to apply for one of the available magnet schools. We were stuck with the undesirable middle school, and I sent my oldest child off to his first day of 6th grade with a healthy dose of trepidation.

Our first few months were rocky, to say the least. I spent much of my time looking for confirmation that the school's reputation was deserved. And I found it. The teachers were uncommunicative, my son's grades were slipping... he was floundering and they didn't seem to care... we were miserable.

But then, something happened. A major miscommunication between me and my son's teachers - one that confirmed in my mind every single negative thing I'd ever heard about this school. And I decided I had no choice but to home school my children. I walked into the principal's office and demanded to speak to her. I laid out all of the issues, all of the problems, every reason I felt justified in pulling my son out of her horrible school. And she listened to my concerns without lashing back at me. Then she called a meeting with my son's entire team of teachers to discuss the issues. And we talked.

Almost overnight, this "horrible" school became the best thing that ever could have happened to my son. He was excited about learning again. He couldn't wait to get to school in the morning. And his grades steadily improved, until he was back on the honor roll. By the time my daughter started 6th grade, we were thrilled with this absolutely amazing middle school!

No, I didn't single-handedly fix a troubled school. As it turns out, the school was already pretty amazing. I simply didn't see the great things because I was so determined to believe the negative. I had decided I didn't like it without really trying it. Just like when I was a child, determined to abhor the suspicious-looking casserole Mom served for dinner, and I would choke down tiny bites of food, careful not to let the tiniest morsel touch my tongue. Once I stopped the drama and really took a taste, I discovered that it was actually delicious.

As you know, we've recently moved again. And again, our new house puts us smack dab in the middle of the school zone for the middle school and high school in the scary part of town. For about 3 months prior to our move, we heard about how terrible these schools are. When we arrived and checked in on base, we were presented with the name and number of the military advocate who could help us get permission to transfer to other schools. Everyone told us we were crazy for even considering enrolling our children there. I wondered. I wavered. I vacillated. I started researching the other options.

But then, my children reminded me of our experience in Maryland. "Let's just try it, mom. If we don't like it, we can think about trying to transfer later. But it might be better than everyone says."

We just finished our first week of school. And I'm so glad I "took a taste!" Because my kids were blessed with such great teachers in Maryland, they are more advanced academically than many of their classmates, which has necessitated some extra work in setting up their schedules. As a result, I've spent an hour or two each day at both the middle school and the high school. I've met the administrators and counselors, and I've had the opportunity to watch the students as they move from class to class and interact with their teachers. These "scary schools" are the cleanest middle school and high school I've ever seen. I didn't see any litter on the ground or graffiti on the walls. The students are courteous and considerate, and as a whole, they seem to be very respectful. I didn't hear the f-bomb (or really any profanity) ringing through the halls. And everyone - students, teachers, administrators - seems driven to help each other succeed! (Disclaimer: Of course the kids at these schools aren't perfect. It's not like they're automatons or something. I did witness one incident at the high school where a student was trying to get a teacher to take care of some paperwork for him, but the teacher was in the middle of rushing to the assembly he was conducting and couldn't do it right away. There was a slight argument and semi-raised voices on both sides of the disagreement, but I was impressed to note that neither the student nor the teacher lost their tempers, and after less than a minute of discussion, the matter was resolved - the student would return in about 15-20 minutes, and the teacher could help him at that time.)

Yes, I'm sure there are problems that crop up from time to time at these "problem schools." Is there a high school or middle school anywhere that doesn't have its share of fights in the hallways or students who feel like they're being picked on? I'm sure these schools aren't the exception. They aren't perfect. But I wonder how many of those who warn me about these schools have actually visited the campuses? How many of them are relying on the rumors they've heard? How do they know they won't like it if they haven't even tried it?

I'm grateful for the lesson my parents taught me at the dinner table so long ago. And I'm glad my children had the wisdom to remind me of this universal truth this week. You'll never know how good something might be if you don't even give it a chance. (FYI: brussels sprouts are delicious!)

Please be Patient :)

I'm in the middle of a big move (Maryland to New Mexico), and I haven't had reliable access to the internet for most of this month. I finally have an appointment scheduled to get internet connected at our new house in New Mexico, but the earliest they can get me in is next week. Please be patient with me, as my blog will be silent for a while longer. I hope to be back up and running by the first week of September at the latest!

Leaps of Faith

Today was the first Sunday of the month, a day generally designated in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) as "Fast Sunday." This is not, as my sister used to believe when we were young, "the day everyone goes home from church really fast, so they can eat." It is a day when we are asked to fast (go without food and drink) for two meals, while increasing our prayers and turning our focus to the Lord. Often, we dedicate our fasting toward a certain, specific problem we may be facing, or a loved one who is ill and in need of extra prayer. And usually, our Fast Sundays include a testimony meeting during our worship services. In these meetings, instead of the usual prepared messages, members of the congregation are invited to come forward and share their testimonies of Jesus Christ and His gospel. In sharing our experiences and our insights with one another, we are often able to help each other through trials we might not even know we shared. This was definitely the case for me today.

Today, as I prepared to begin my fast, I prayed for strength and guidance regarding our upcoming move to New Mexico. Although there are many positive aspects to this relocation (we'll be closer to my family, for instance), I freely admit that I don't want to move. I love Maryland. I love my home here, my friends, my neighbors, the schools my children attend... I love it here. This is home. And so, as difficulties have cropped up over the past few weeks (as they always do with a move), I've found myself grumbling more and more: "See? Moving stinks. Can't someone please tell the Air Force we should just stay here??"

This morning, I humbled myself and asked the Lord once more to help me accept this relocation. I asked for strength and guidance as I prepare to face this final week in Maryland, that I might be able to finish all of the unfinished projects quickly to get our house ready to rent, so we'll be able to leave early next week. And I prayed that all would be well with us, even though the unknown adventures waiting for us in Albuquerque scare me to death.

Then, I sat in the testimony meeting, marvelling at the way the Lord sent so many of His children to comfort me in my time of need. First, my sweet 10-year-old daughter stood and stared straight into my eyes as she declared that she knows that Jesus is the Christ and that he loves us, and he has given us a prophet on the earth today, to lead us back to Him. Then, one by one, friends and neighbors stood to testify of the Lord's grace and power as He shepherded them through trials they didn't realize they had been strong enough to face. Over and over again, I heard stories about when my friends had faced great obstacles, and how they had, through faith and trust, found the courage to step into the unknown. Each expressed gratitude that they had been willing to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost, taking a step into the dark and trusting that the Lord wouldn't lead them astray.

As I listened, I remembered many times in my own life that the Lord's path for me differed from the one I wanted to take. And each time, when I followed the scary, unknown path He set for me, I found rewards greater than I could have imagined waiting for me at the end.

* When I was in junior high school, my dad got a job across the state, and I had to say goodbye to my tiny handful of friends. I was certain that I would be unwelcome in my new school, that I'd be the weird new girl who no one would want to be friends with. Instead, I found a large group of friends waiting for me, many of whom I'm still in contact with today.

* When I graduated from high school, I dreamed of going to college at an Ivy League school, far away from home (where I could have a full, fresh start for this next chapter of my life). Instead, I wound up at the University of Wyoming, only 45 miles from home... and I met the love of my life.

* After college, we planned to go to graduate school... but instead, my husband joined the Air Force, and we wound up stationed at Beale AFB, California. And so we were living near one of the top facilities for treating brain tumors when mine was discovered.

I could go on for days, listing all of the times when life took me down a road that seemed to be exactly the opposite of what I had planned, and in every case, without exception, I was grateful for the detour in the end. I'm certain that I'll find countless blessings waiting for me in Albuquerque. Something amazing that I didn't dare hope for. I just need to have the courage to leap into the darkness, trusting the Lord to be my wings.

What's in a Name? Titles Do Matter!

In preparing for our big move, I've been sorting through all of my old files this week, getting rid of the excess. In the process, I've made some fun discoveries (the story with which I won first place in the Wyoming Young Author's contest in first grade) and some eye-opening revelations (turns out, the idea for the YA novel I started writing in 2008 was sketched out in a short story I wrote way back in my junior year of high school!)

Then I came across a stack of clippings from my brief time as a staff writer for a small-town weekly newspaper in Gillette, Wyoming.


Now, I have to admit that choosing titles has never been an easy task for me, but I know that a title can make or break your story. I was particularly proud of the headline I came up with for my first published article: "Wright does it right for Wright Days 96."

The article was just a basic write-up with information on the upcoming festivities, but the headline was catchy enough to draw attention to my small article at the bottom of the page. Response to my first article was positive enough that I received another assignment for the next issue. This time, however, my editor changed the headline just before publication, because my original suggestion (something along the lines of "Runners Enjoy Fajitas after the Annual Nose Run") wasn't catchy enough. However, the headline that appeared in the paper ("Nose runners eat fajitas") conjured up a plethora of unpleasant images. Even though this second article was better written and featured at the top of a two-page spread in the paper, complete with photos, the biggest response received was, "That headline was kind of gross."

I learned two lessons from this experience that influence my writing today:

1. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself! I was very uncomfortable with the re-written headline, but I was young and insecure, and I was afraid to say anything. After the issue was published and public response to my article was less-than-positive, my editor asked why I hadn't pointed out the gross-factor of her headline. My only excuse was fear. If I had spoken up, we probably could have come up with something clever and catchy together.

2. First impressions mean a lot! Even though my second article was the better of the two, most people never discovered that, because they were put off by the headline. You wouldn't wear torn jeans and a stained t-shirt to a job interview. Take the time to dress your stories for success as well, with the best title for the tale.

What My 20-year-old Self Would Tell Me

Going through old boxes of papers in preparation for our move, I discovered this:

This paper was from an exercise I did in one of my college classes. Turns out, the younger version of me had a lot more self-confidence than I do now. I think I need to work on getting back to that!

A Small Dose of Rainbows and Bubbles

If you know me at all, then you know I don't like to dwell on negative things. I've been often accused of living in a world full of rainbows and bubbles. I'm an eternal optimist, and I don't like to think that there might be people in this world who could or would ever intentionally hurt someone else.

On days like today, when the whole Internet is exploding with reactions to the tragic shootings in Aurora, Colorado, it's not so easy to see the rainbows, and the bubbles pop far too easily.

On days like today, my natural smile fades, and I start to wonder if people aren't as good as I like to believe.

On days like today, I sometimes need to take a moment to refocus my filter - to look through the lens of all the goodness that's everywhere around me, so I'm not discouraged by the tragedy. So, this post will not be about what I'm feeling in reaction to today's news. Instead, I want to take a moment and remember that most people really are trying to make this world a better place for everyone in it.

My mother told me about her recent trip to help two of my sisters. First, she stopped in Utah to help out my youngest sister, who is struggling with a very difficult pregnancy and having trouble keeping up with her very active little girls. Mom cleaned the kitchen and caught up on the laundry - all of the little things that mean so much but seem so impossible when you're sick.

When she got to the airport to fly out to my other sister's house, Mom discovered that, due to a miscommunication and a few wrong clicks online, she had missed her flight. The lady at the check-in counter was super helpful and managed to book Mom on the flight she thought she was scheduled for. But by the time the ticket was changed and bags checked, Mom had only 10 minutes to get to the gate - and the line for security was LONG! Mom said she was on the phone with my dad as she ran to the security check, and when she saw the line, she nearly cried. She explained to him that she was going to miss her flight after all.

But then, a minor miracle occurred. Someone in the line overheard her conversation. He let her go ahead of him. And then another person did the same. And another. And another. The crowds of people waiting in line to get through security (many of whom, I'm sure, were in a hurry to get to their own flights) stepped aside and let my mom pass through to the front of the line.

And she made her flight on time.

Because people are basically pretty wonderful, and when given the opportunity, most people will choose to do the kind thing. Most people want a chance to serve their fellow men. Most people would be quite happy in my little world of rainbows and bubbles.

A little closer to home, I also experienced a minor miracle yesterday.

Yesterday was extremely stressful for me. Trying to pack and sort and pare down in preparation for a cross-country move that's coming at me far too quickly, I was overwhelmed and afraid that I'd never be able to do it all on time. My well-meaning friends and family members, who tried to help me by pointing out all of the things I wasn't doing right... didn't help. By late afternoon, I collapsed in tears and gave up. I decided I'd never get it all done, and I'd have to pay extra fees for going over our military moving weight limit. And I'd probably not be able to find a renter for my house, and so I should expect to quickly drain my savings and watch my home go into foreclosure, ruining my credit and losing my house in the process. And I wouldn't have any time to see any of my friends to say goodbye before we move, and so they'd probably all be angry with me and never speak to me again. And I didn't even know what to make for dinner!

But then, I realized: one of my friends had offered to make dinner for us. I didn't have to worry about that!

The love involved in that one small act of service was enough to stop my downward spiral of fear and worry. And when I started to look at things a little bit more clearly, I realized that nothing was as bad as I feared. I've made a lot of progress on my moving to-do list. I'll be able to finish on time. And I have over a week between the day the movers come to pack up our things and the day we leave Maryland. Over a week where my only commitments will be saying goodbye to friends here (and a little bit of painting and touch-ups on the house to get it ready for renting).

I can do this.

All it took was one small act of service from a friend who didn't even know how much I needed it.

So today, as I'm struggling with sorrow and despair over the news coming out of Colorado, I've decided to look for the good. To focus once again on the rainbows and bubbles - the beauty of the world that still shines, even in the midst of great tragedy. And I'll look for something that I can do to pass those rainbows forward. Because love is the greatest power on Earth, and it can heal the deepest hurts.

What about you? How will you show love today? How have others shown love to you?

Book Review: BEWARE THE NINJA WEENIES by David Lubar

They say you should never judge a book by its cover. I failed to take that into account when I picked up BEWARE THE NINJA WEENIES: AND OTHER WARPED AND CREEPY TALES by David Lubar. This is the sixth book in Lubar’s “Weenies” series of short stories, and in all honesty, I've been avoiding this series, because I don't like "that kind of book." But this wasn't the book I thought it would be! I expected to find stories rife with potty humor and crass jokes, similar to the Captain Underpants series of books. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised to find a collection of clever and thought-provoking speculative fiction stories.

In this collection, the reader will find a boy who is so involved in his video game that he doesn’t notice a real alien invasion and a girl who might destroy the universe in the process of discovering its secrets. Children will meet broccoli that learns how to talk and pleads for its life, an alien who performs in a sideshow act, and many more fascinating characters. Lubar’s tales include plenty of the gross factor to appeal to young readers*, but he doesn’t rely on the “ewww, gross” response to carry the stories forward. Like Isaac Asimov for young people, this collection of short stories is sure to resonate with anyone who has ever wondered, “what if?”

* (I was going to say that the gross factor appeals to young boys, but then I thought of my own dear daughter, who loves stories that make everyone around her cringe. Let's face it: Love of gross things is a universal kid trait and not gender-based at all!)

Yippeee!

Yay!!

Yippeee!!

WooHoo!!

Hooray!!

I finished all of my writing goals! Now, I can take a little bit of a writing break (I'm cutting back to only thirty minutes or at most, one hour per day, and I'm NOT starting any new projects!) while I get ready to move to Albuquerque in less than a month. Thanks, everyone, for your love and support!!

Can We Be Serious for a Moment? (Ummm.... Probably Not)

As promised, last night I finally sat down and tackled pre-conference challenge #6 on the SCBWI MD/DE/WV blog, in preparation for the upcoming regional conference. I've been procrastinating this one for almost two weeks now, not because it was a particularly difficult challenge, but because I had too many possibilities! The challenge? Take a famous quote (from a movie, a book, a song, a well-known saying) and use it as a first line to a story. Write the openings for two different stories using that same well-known quote. One should be light and humorous, while the other is dark and serious.

I spent over a week trying to decide which quote to use!! I considered:

* You can't judge a book by its cover.
* Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
* Nobody's perfect.
* The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
* Time flies when you're having fun.
* Laughter is the best medicine.
* Reading in the dark will ruin your eyes.
* Actions speak louder than words.

Which one to choose? I couldn't make up my mind.

So I asked my husband for help. He suggested: "I reject your reality and substitute my own." or "Failure is always an option." (both quotes - Adam Savage from Mythbusters) But which one should I use? More choices did not make the decision easier! I needed someone to provide me with ONE quote that I would have to stretch my brain to work into a story.

So I turned to my son. As I should have expected, he suggested "Luke, I am your father." Okay, I could work with that. I sharpened my story pencil and pulled out my notebook. But before I could begin writing, he changed his mind and gave me a different quote.

The most disturbing movie quote EVER....

"I know. Somehow, I've always known." (Bonus points if you know what movie that line is from and WHY it is the most disturbing, shudder-inducing movie quote ever!!)

So I started with the light/humorous:

I know. Somehow, I've always known. Probably because my mom has been drilling it into my head for like, my entire life. Still, I'm always amazed at how many people just don't get it. You should never combine plaids and floral prints in the same outfit!

Moving on to the dark/serious:

I know. Somehow, I've always known. It's not a feeling you can describe, really. Knowing the exact day and time your pet turtle is going to make a break for it....

Ummmm..... yeah. Turns out, I'm not so good at the dark/serious kind of writing. (As my family told me last night: "Duh!") I like to laugh too much to ever take things very seriously!! But I'm also stubborn. As you know, I can't let a challenge go lightly. So I worked and agonized until I came up with this:

I know. Somehow, I've always known. That doesn't make any of this easier. George said he would come back for me after, but the truth is, there is no 'after.' Not for George.

Yep, it's cheesy and cliche. I could probably improve it by working farther into the story. But I had to stop myself before it became another story about a pet turtle making a run for freedom. My son told me that the funniest part about this whole challenge was watching me try to be serious, because it's such a difficult/unnatural state for me. I'm too upbeat and happy. I think I can live with that kind of reputation. :)

Conferences, Contests and Challenges

As you know from my previous post, I've had a pretty full to-do list lately. I haven't been very active on any of my social media accounts, and I've recently discovered that I apparently don't know how to schedule a blog post in advance, because the book review I tried to schedule didn't go up.

I'm pleased to report, however, that I'm making great progress on my writing goals, and I hope to be able to report on Friday that I've finished all of the projects I'd hoped to complete before the SCBWI MD/DE/WV regional conference this weekend. I promised myself (and my family) that starting next week, I'll cut back on the writing time slightly to focus more fully on our move. I've decided that, if I can get all of these polishing revisions finished by this weekend, I can designate my writing time for the next several weeks, until we're settled in Albuquerque, to sending out query letters, entering contests and accepting a (small) writing challenge or two. I'll let my other established works in progress wait until the dust settles a bit.

Of course, there were a few contests and challenges I couldn't let go until next week.

At the end of June, I entered my YA contemporary novel, KISSING FROGS into Brenda Drake's Doggone Voice Workshop, and I've received some valuable critiques from that. I can't wait to polish my manuscript a little bit more with these responses in mind!

This morning, I woke up before my alarm and submitted my polished picture book manuscript to the Christmas in July agent blog contest, sponsored by Michelle Krys and Ruth Lauren Steven. I'm determined not to obsess (much) about the results, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. (That's the benefit of an overflowing to-do list. No time to think!) - Update! I got an honorable mention on Michelle Krys' site!! Yay!!

I've also entered for a chance to win one of THREE chapter critiques from Lisa Burstein (and her editor, Stacy Cantor Abrams!! and her agent, Susan Finesman!!) in celebration of her newly-published YA contemporary novel, Pretty Amy.

And I put my name in the virtual hat for a chance to win a query (or first page) critique from Agent Amanda Lewis on the I Write for Apples blog.

Of course, I'm still working on the Pre-Conference challenges on the SCBWI MD/DE/WV blog as well. (Update! I finished all 8 challenges!! Yay!!) In fact, I finished up #7 (of 8) this morning. (I still haven't tackled #6, but I'm going to do that as soon as I post this - I promise!) Challenge #7 was to write several ho-hum sentences to describe your 4th of July celebration, and then rework those sentences into vibrant, active paragraphs for a sparkling mini-story.

My sentences:
* The streets were packed with people waiting for the parade to begin.
* The sun was hot.
* We had no shade, other than the umbrellas we brought.
* The parade was long, but it was fun.

Boring, right? Hopefully, this is much better:

Chairs popped up along the sidewalks in the second week of June, patiently waiting through rain and shine to reserve the best spots for viewing the Catonsville 4th of July parade. By the time we arrived downtown, fifteen minutes before start time, we were already two weeks too late to grab a good spot. The sun blazed overhead and not a single cloud took pity on us. Even the shadows cast by our umbrellas offered little relief from the sweltering heat. Sweat trickled down my back, drenching my shirt, and the slight breeze that danced through the flags hanging from street lights wasn't enough to cool my skin.

"Maybe we should go out for ice cream instead," I thought. "I've seen parades before."

But before I could say anything, with a flash of lights and the scream of sirens, a line of firetrucks rumbled down the street. Marching bands, classic cars, bagpipes, stilt walkers and even a drag racer paused to entertain us as they passed by our chunk of sidewalk. Handcrafted floats, led by tired but enthusiastic elementary school students promenaded past our little corner. As the sun dipped below the roof line of the downtown Catonsville buildings, casting long shadows over us, the final parade performers marched past. Two and a half hours sweltering in the sun was never quite so satisfying. Nothing beats the Catonsville 4th of July parade!

Taking a Break... Sort of

Update! I am almost finished knitting the samples for my Recycle Knit book. Most of the pictures are now up on my website. Take a look and tell me what you think!!

 

I'm sorry for the silence on my blog recently. I've been extremely busy lately, and the craziness isn't likely to let up for the next few weeks. On my to-do list:

* Revise/polish my picture book manuscript Done!
* Revise my MG novel  Done!
* Knit up samples of all projects in my Recycle Knit book (and finish writing the proposal) Done!
* Finish all pre-conference challenges from the SCBWI MD/DE/WV blog - Done!
* Organize my house in preparation for our upcoming move - I'll tackle this next week!

It all has to be done by mid-July! At least, that's the plan. I'd like to complete my writing goals before the regional SCBWI conference on July 14th, and since our move is coming up right on the heels of the conference, I need to get the moving checklist in order by the same time.

So I won't be writing any long, insightful blog posts for the next several weeks. And I probably won't be hanging out on twitter and facebook as much as usual for now. I'll probably have a few short book reviews to post in the meantime, and I'll be back online as soon as I can whittle the to-do list down to only one or two projects.

Thanks for understanding!

Book Review: JUST FLIRT

JUST FLIRT by Laura Bowers

Dee Barton loves to flirt. It’s fun, and she’s good at it. Flirting makes everyone involved, flirter and flirtee, feel good. And a  little fun is exactly what Dee needs in order to forget her sorrows. It’s been a rough fifteen months, with her father dying, her ex-boyfriend dating Sabrina Owens, and the financial strain on the family campground she and her mother are trying to keep up. A little harmless flirting seems to be just what the doctor ordered. But when a blog called the Superflirt Chronicles puts her in the middle of a devastating lawsuit, she’ll have to team up with her biggest enemy, Sabrina, to make things right.

Bowers weaves an intricate story of fun and flirty summer days, riddled with miscommunications and misconceptions that are sure to keep the readers guessing. Touching on tough issues like grief, abuse and deception in a real and fully approachable way, this book is a fun and lighthearted, "summer beach read" with plenty of substance to carry through to the rest of the year.

Disclaimer: I've gotten to know Laura Bowers through my local chapter of SCBWI, and she's an amazing person as well as an amazing writer. But I don't think I'm biased in my review. Read the book and judge for yourself. You won't be sorry you did. :)

Woo Hoo!

As I promised yesterday, I spent today tackling Challenge #3 from the SCBWI MD/DE/WV blog: As the Eraser Burns. This challenge was another "easy" one that turned out to be not quite so easy. (Are you noticing a trend here? I'm starting to suspect there might be a reason my dear, sweet hubby always accuses me of making everything more complicated than it needs to be.)

The challenge was to take a moment to give yourself a "Woo Hoo!" for all of the things, both big and small, that you've accomplished recently. Too often, when we're doing well, we only focus forward on the next big hurdle. "I'll stop and celebrate after..." But we never stop to celebrate. Once we clear the hurdle, we're looking forward to the next one, and then the next... and the only time we ever stop to look back at what we have done is when we stumble and fall. Then, we only look back and see what we should have done better.

That's the idea behind this week's challenge. We were supposed to take some time to make a list of everything we have done - all of our recent accomplishments - and then take a little bit of time to stop and celebrate. Simple, right?

I set aside the whole day for this challenge!

First, the list:

In the past month, I have:
  * Written a new first draft of a middle grade novel - in 72 hours!
  * Done a full revision on my young adult novel... then sent it to a friend for critique... then started another revision
  * Revised one of  my picture book manuscripts... submitted it to my critique group... had a brilliant brainstorming session with the critique group, where they totally helped me fix my flat ending... revised the manuscript again and sent it back to the group for more feedback
  * Figured out how to add comments and a search feature to my author website... and figured out how to link my blog and my author website together!
  * Developed two new patterns for the Recycle Knit book I'm writing (pictures of the finished products to be posted soon - probably early next week, but maybe sooner)
  * More consistently updated my website and blog
  * Signed up to attend the regional SCBWI conference next month

... and that's just my writing accomplishments! On top of all that, I have:
  * Knitted 2 tote bags, several necklaces, four bracelets and a hat from recycled plastic bags
  * Made 3 wooden decorative signs as end-of-the-year teacher gifts for my daughter's favorite teachers
  * Coordinated all of the medical paperwork/appointments I need to do before we can get clearance for our next assignment
  * Chaperoned an all-day (6am to 10pm) field trip to the Eastern Regional Music Festival with my daughter
  * Attended end-of-year awards assemblies / picnics for all four children (2 of which happened in the middle of my 72-hour middle grade madness challenge!)
  * Volunteered to serve goodies at the elementary school 5th grade farewell
  * Started sorting through things to get ready for our move

... and that doesn't include all of the every day accomplishments, like making dinner, folding laundry and playing referee when the kids are at each other's throats.

I've accomplished A LOT!!

Woo Hoo!!!!

To celebrate, I set aside most of the day today to relax. I went to the Temple this morning (I try to go once a week - it really helps to rejuvenate me and give me the strength I need to get through the busy days), and I planned to spend the afternoon baking bread with my daughters before settling down to watch a movie with the family.

It was a great plan.

Unfortunately, I was running late this morning, so I didn't get to the Temple as early as I'd planned. This set my schedule back a bit, but I wasn't concerned. Still plenty of time to get in lots of relaxing - and I enjoy my time at the Temple so much that I really don't mind when it takes longer than I plan.

But then I got stuck in traffic (all 4 lanes of highway completely closed for some reason for more than an hour) on the way home, and by the time I got through the mess, there was no time for baking bread. And I was planning on using the bread for sandwiches to eat for dinner while we relaxed together with a movie!

I was tempted to grumble and complain and grump about the kink in my plans.... And, yeah, I admit it... I gave into temptation. I grumbled quite a bit before I realized this is NOT what Challenge #3 was all about! The point was to have fun and acknowledge the things I've done, not to have some perfectly coordinated moment I could brag about later!

So, we made whole wheat waffles (with the homemade mix I threw together on Sunday afternoon) instead of bread, and we still had yummy chicken sandwiches for dinner while we watched "Pure Country" - one of my favorite movies from when I was in high school.

Woo Hoo!!

(And one more Woo Hoo! for the fact that I am now ALL CAUGHT UP on the pre-conference challenges. Now, I'm ready to tackle challenge #4 when they post it tomorrow!)

My Favorite Books: Why Do I Love Them?

As promised, tonight I am tackling Conference Challenge #2 from the SCBWI MD/DE/WV blog. The challenge?
"I want you to make a list of all your favorite children’s books throughout the years: When you were a kid, when you were in middle school, as a teenager, and as an adult.
Then ask yourself. Why do I love this book?...How can I use these elements to improve my current work-in-progress?"

It seems like a fairly easy challenge, but I've been putting it off and kind of dreading it for nearly two weeks now. Because choosing favorite books is like choosing a favorite food. I can't do either one. Sometimes, I'm in the mood for something sweet and soft. Sometimes, I want something a little bit salty. Sometimes, I really need something that has a kick to it. My favorites have always changed from moment to moment, depending on my mood. So to truly pick my favorite books throughout the years, I would have to list 75% of all the books I've ever read.

But of course, I can't list them all. Once again, I'm grateful for the wisdom of the blog administrators who advised: "Set your timer for thirty minutes, dig deep with this one, and have fun!" The timer is set. For the next thirty minutes, I'll walk you through my life in books, and we'll see where it takes us. :)

My very first favorite book was THE FIRE CAT by Esther Averill. I loved this book so much that I wanted to read it constantly! Of course, at four years old, I couldn't read yet. So I would bring it to my big sister and beg her to read it to me - sometimes 7 or 8 (or more) times in a row!! She got tired of it really quickly, and she started skipping words on the page to make the story go faster. Unfortunately, I had the book memorized by this time, and I called her on it every single time she tried to skip a word. So finally, she simply taught me how to read so that I could read the book to myself!

Why did I love this book so much? Pickles, the fire cat, was a character I could identify with. He was a cat that was destined for greatness... but he was a little bit awkward and felt like he didn't quite belong, and sometimes, he made wrong choices, because he didn't know what else to do with himself.  But his friends didn't give up on him, and eventually, he learned to channel his energies into something good.

When I was in 5th or 6th grade, I loved DAPHNE'S BOOK by Mary Downing Hahn. I wanted to be a writer, and I was thrilled to find a book about someone my own age who was a writer too. But even more than that, I felt Jessica's struggle as she tried to be a friend to Daphne, but worried about what the other kids in class might say about her. Jessica wanted to be someone great, but she didn't know how to get there. And so she made choices that hurt her friend. Once again, I connected with an awkward character who wanted to be more than she felt she was capable of. I cried when she chose to shut Daphne out, and I rejoiced when she got a second chance to try to fix her mistakes. Because it's a middle grade book, and not an early reader, the story is more complex than THE FIRE CAT. Things aren't so simple in this book. Not everything turns out perfectly and happily ever after in the end. But once again, a flawed and awkward main character chooses to embrace the greatness she has within.

As I got older, I loved (and still love) ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND by Lewis Carroll and THE ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN by Mark Twain. I loved A WRINKLE IN TIME by Madeline L'Engle and THE PHANTOM TOLLBOOTH by Norton Juster. I adored WORD CHANGER by ?? and NIGHTFALL by Isaac Asimov (actually, I'm not sure if that last one is considered children's literature, so maybe I'm cheating...) And one of my newest favorites is SPECTRAL by Shannon Duffy. (You can read my review here.)

I could list hundreds of books... but my thirty minutes are up. Suffice it to say, I've realized that there is one common thread that binds together all of my favorite books over the years. I'm drawn to books with characters who have a seed of greatness within them, even though they may not see it themselves at first. I love characters who are flawed and awkward, who want to do Big Things but fumble and stumble and mess everything up because they don't know how to be the person they want to be. I love to step into their stories and cheer them on as they find the courage to make the hard choices... to become the great people they were destined to be. But I wouldn't love them so much if they were perfect. They are the loveable geeks, the misunderstood and quiet folks that others might overlook, the characters that might someday grow up to be powerful, influential people. But not yet.

Now, I just need to make sure my characters are adorkable, and not simply awkward. As a former adorkable character, I'm ready to take on that challenge!