Mortified

Colby had a fun post on her blog this week about "Project Mortified" (I think that's what it's called, at least) - where you look through your old journals / poetry / stories / letters from when you were young and publicly share some of the embarrassing writing that makes up who you are. I think that this is a terrific idea! I'm always up for some public humiliation! In fact, my kids' favorite way to pass the time is hearing about the embarrassing stories of my childhood - and they usually get me to tell these embarrassing stories to their friends as well!!

Anyway, as I read Colby's post and determined that I would also participate in this project, I knew exactly what journal entry I wanted to find - I have the perfect "Mortified" story!! I spent the afternoon yesterday reading through my old journals to find the entry. Unfortunately, as I searched through my box of journals, I realized that the journal from that particular time period is missing!! That means you get a bonus, because I'm going to tell you about my mortifying moment, and then I will also share a snippet from one of the journals I have as well - Wow! A two-fer!!

Okay, so probably the most embarrassing, mortifying moment of my entire life was when I was in 9th grade. We had just moved from Rock Springs to Cheyenne (Wyoming), and I was just starting to get to know people and make friends. Well, one day, after school, I was standing around with one of my new friends, Amy, while we waited for our parents to come pick us up. (We had stayed after school for an extra band practice.) We were the only 2 people still waiting for our rides, and we were a little bit bored and getting silly, so while we waited, we started making fun of this really silly commercial that was on the radio all of the time. It was for the E.P.T. pregnancy test, and it was a bunch of girls saying "Mike, I hope I'm pregnant" "Bob, what if I'm pregnant?" "Bryan, I think I'm pregnant..." (etc.) So we were quoting the commercial and really hamming it up. I got all melodramatic and said (rather loudly), "Bryan, I think I'm pregnant!" Suddenly, Amy's face went absolutely white and she got this panicked look on her face. I asked what was wrong, and she couldn't even speak - just pointed behind me. So I turned around and was absolutely MORTIFIED to see Bryan Bell standing right behind me!!!! I had just met him that morning (maybe it was the day before, but I think it was that day), so we didn't know each other very well - and he was incredibly freaked out that I would be "sharing" such personal information with him!!! I really wanted to sink into the floor! Of course, I had to quickly explain to him that it was NOT what he was thinking - the last thing I needed at my brand-new school was for the rumors to start flying! Here we are, 17 years later, and when I think of "the most embarrassing thing that has happened to me in my life," that one still tops the list!

Of course, I found plenty of "mortifying" moments in the pages of my old journals. I think that the hardest part of this whole thing is narrowing it down and trying to figure out what to post for all to see and laugh about!! I think that I will have to go with an installment of a story that a friend and I were writing together. We were really bored one day and writing notes back and forth in school, and Jenni wrote, "Did you know that Jack threw Jill down the hill and got himself in trouble with George because he loved Jill. Then George's dad didn't want Jill even near George and so he went to Jill's house and made Jan, Jill's sister go to the mountains and eat with the hungry bears. Then Veronica got mad at George because Jan was her best friend, she was so mad and then Veronica went right over to George's house and gave him some of her mind and then she couldn't think anymore! So she wandered around the countryside lonely until...." Jenni left the story for me to add to, and of course I did, and we passed the story back and forth for weeks! Of course, it got more and more bizarre with each installment, and we managed to work in the guys we had crushes on and all kinds of weird "romantic" episodes. The funny thing is, I was fighting with the guy she had a crush on (don't remember why, but I swore up and down that I would never speak to him again for as long as I lived), so I kept trying to write him out of the story. Meanwhile, apparently, I had a ton of different guys that I was "in love with" and they all had to have a part in the story, but Jenni really didn't like one of them, so she kept trying to turn him into the villain.....

So here is one page out of our "masterpiece"!! (In case you can't read this lovely scanned image, I will transcribe:)

"Jenniersifers,

"I'll just start with the story. "Oh no! cried Jenni... "She really is crazy! Everyone's always saying that she is, but I never thought they were serious!" "What's wrong with being crazy?" Chris, Jason and Kenya all yelled together. "Vern wouldn't be Vern if she wasnt' crazy!" "I'm sorry people," the policeman interrupted, "but we came to arrest someone, so one of you is coming with us! We don't know which one of you is guilty, but I think Vern had every right to try to kill Jon. It's obvious that she's telling the truth, but we can see Jenni and Jon's point of view too. Who should we arrest? I know. You! - You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. If you don't want to be silent, you can talk." They grabbed Toby's arms and dragged him off into the woods. He was protesting all the way. As soon as they were gone, Vern ran to Chris and thanked him. Then..... Your turn! What happens next?

Vern"

Let me just say, this was truly a masterpiece! It's hard to believe that such an amazing work of fiction was written by two 9th-grade girls in between classes, isn't it???

Thanks, Colby, for sending me on this stroll down memory lane with all of the grins and giggles it produced along the way!!