Don’t Be Your Own Worst Roadblock: Trust in Yourself and Others (plus recipe: Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies with Red Chile)

For years, I offered to make cookies for all of the Mormon missionaries I met, as long as they wrote me a letter. The only requirements I have are that the letter has to be handwritten (not an email that is carbon copied to everyone in their mailing list), and it has to be about something good that they’ve learned or experienced on their missions. A moment when something difficult led to blessings, or an “Aha!” moment when they saw or heard something that gave them greater understanding into a concept they hadn’t understood before. Then, they just had to tell me what kind of cookie they wanted. Any kind at all. (A favorite cookie that Mom used to make, something new that they wanted to try, or even a brand-new custom flavor invented entirely for them.) But none of the missionaries thought I was really serious, and so no one took me up on the offer.

And I guess I get it. We live in a cynical world, where it’s easy to filter everything through the “what’s in it for me?” test. So why would someone offer to bake homemade cookies for people she barely knows?

Then, one day about three years ago, Elder Robert Calkins, a Mormon missionary in Albuquerque, New Mexico was at our house for dinner. I gave him my cookie promise, and my kids encouraged him to take me up on the offer. (If I’m making cookies for someone, after all, the kids get to eat some of the fresh-out-of-the-oven goodness.) He laughed. I’m pretty sure he didn’t think it would actually lead to anything. But he had a cool experience to share that he was excited about. So he pulled out a piece of paper, and right then and there, wrote a letter about something he had experienced a few days earlier.

“I don’t know what kind of cookies to ask for, though,” he said as he finished the letter. So my son suggested his favorite: one of my relatively new recipes, which I had created at the request of my good friend, Brenda Drake. Oatmeal Chocolate Chip with Red Chile.

When I gave him my reply letter and a batch of freshly-baked cookies a few days later, the other missionaries noticed.

“How did you get those cookies?”

*shrug* “I wrote a letter.”

“Wait. That works?!?” And suddenly, other missionaries were writing me letters about the amazing experiences and life-changing moments they had on their missions.

I’ve shared this recipe before, but since I’m dedicating this month to highlighting the good and wonderful things I see in the world, and the good and wonderful people who populate my little corner of it, I have to share again. Because this recipe is tied to so many of my favorite people that it never fails to make me smile when I make the cookies.

I think of Brenda, an amazing author, the creator of Pitch Wars, an inspiration and mentor to countless writers, and one of the all-around best people I know. These cookies wouldn’t even exist without her, because she was the one who challenged me to make the New Mexico version of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies in the first place.

I think of Robert Calkins, an amazing young man who trusted my word enough to try my promise, and reminded me (and several other missionaries who took me up on my promise because of his success) that sometimes we’re our own biggest roadblock in life. It’s so easy to talk ourselves out of things that we want, simply because we don’t trust that the blessings will be waiting for us at the end of our challenges. And while it’s a wise thing to remember that, when something seems too good to be true, it usually is … It’s also important to have faith in the goodness and promises of people we associate with. Sometimes, a little effort can bring very sweet rewards.

I think of my son, Ben, who is one of the most inspiring and amazing people I know. Ben has a talent for truly seeing people. He can pinpoint, often within minutes of meeting someone, the strengths and weaknesses of that person. And he generally uses this super power for good, reflecting back to each person their best qualities, and finding little ways to lift and help them through their weak moments. He’s one of my heroes, a true example of the unconditional, Christ-like love we all want in our lives, and I strive to emulate this behavior as much as I can. These are Ben’s favorite cookies, so they don’t stick around long at our house, when I make them. But I love making them, because they always make him smile.

And I think of another Mormon missionary I’ve come to know and love: Savanna Sanborn, who came into our lives and became something of a big sister for my daughters. When she totally cheated my system and cleverly requested not one but four original cookie recipes by asking me to create a representation of the various Harry Potter houses in cookie form, I had to cheat right back and repurpose one of my already-created recipes. These sweet, but a little bit spicy, cookies felt perfect for the challenge.

These are my Gryffindor cookies. A representation of the Harry Potter house that even people who have never read the books will recognize. The familiar flavors of the oatmeal chocolate chip are like the old friends you know and love, who you can count on to always be there for you when life gets you down. And the unexpected kick of the red chile represents the bravery and adventurousness of the house of Gryffindor. It takes a little bit of daring to bite into a cookie that might be spicier than you’re used to, but they are so worth the risk!

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies with Red Chile

You will need:
2 c. butter, softened
2 c. dark brown sugar
1 c. granulated sugar
4 eggs
2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. vanilla
4 c. oats
4 c. whole wheat flour (you can also use all-purpose, but whole wheat tastes better)
1/2 - 2/3 c. diced dried red chiles (these can be as mild or as spicy as you like)
1 pkg. mini chocolate chips
2 c. raisins (opt.)

In a large mixing bowl, cream together butter and sugars.

Add eggs, baking soda, salt and vanilla, and beat until creamy.

Stir in oats.

Add the flour, 1 cup at a time, beating well after each addition.

Mix in chiles, chocolate chips and raisins, if desired.

Chill dough for 30 minutes to 2 hours. (This step isn’t strictly necessary, but chilling the dough allows the butter to solidify slightly and gives the cookies a fluffier texture. If you’re too impatient and choose not to chill the dough, your cookies might come out fairly flat. They will also spread more as they bake, so make sure to leave extra room on the tray between cookies, so they won’t run together while baking.)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.

Using a 1-inch cookie scoop, portion the dough onto an ungreased cookie sheet (I like to line my cookie sheets with parchment paper for easy clean-up, but you shouldn’t need it for a non-stick cookie sheet). 

Bake for 8-10 minutes, until bottom edges are slightly golden brown. Remove from cookie sheet and cool on a wire rack.

Unexpected Challenges Bring Great Rewards (plus recipe: S'mores Puffs)

The best part about my cookie challenge … Okay, never mind. There are so many good parts that I can’t really choose a best part about it for me.

I love getting to know the Mormon missionaries who write to me. There’s something about writing and receiving letters that makes connections between people feel so much more real. Handwritten letters often show a side of you that doesn’t easily shine through in 140 characters, or even in super-long blog posts you share with the entire world. There’s something intimate and personal about the act of writing your thoughts in your own handwriting that simply leads to closer relationships.

I love the dose of perspective I get when I read about the challenges that someone else is facing, and the lessons and hope they’ve taken away from those challenges. I love learning about the things that have touched their lives, and gaining perspective as they share the things they’re grateful for. (Honestly, this is the biggest reason I started promising cookies to anyone who would write to me. I get so worn down with the negativity in the world that I will literally bribe people to send me their happy thoughts!)

And I love getting a challenge that feels nearly impossible, knowing that everyone is rooting for me to pull it off. A challenge that I never would have thought to take on myself, but that my friends and family, and the person issuing the challenge, honestly believe I’ll be able to handle. Because sometimes, the missionaries who write me letters spend just as much time (or more!) dreaming up cookie flavors for me to invent as they spend actually writing the letters. A few times, I’ve even had missionaries tell me that they have the letter all written, but they’ve spent more than a week trying to come up with a cookie idea that might stump me.

And some of them REALLY try to stump me, throwing flavor combinations at me that even they aren’t sure would work, just to see if I can make something delicious out of the unexpected.

But here’s the thing I’ve learned: Even when they’re giving me the most difficult cookie challenges they can think of, each and every one of these missionaries expects me to succeed. Obviously, if I failed, they wouldn’t get their cookies, and that would be a hollow victory indeed. But the more word spreads about my cookie challenge, the more the missionaries compete for the title of “most difficult cookie challenge ever,” so the requests get crazier and the challenges get more impossible with each letter I receive.

And yet, every single cookie request so far has been a success.

It’s amazing how much you discover that you’re capable of when everyone (including you) is operating under the assumption that you can succeed. Because when you don’t know a task is truly impossible, it’s much easier to find a way to make it happen before the realization of that fact sets in. When “I can’t” isn’t a part of the vocabulary, “I’ll find a way” becomes the roadmap to follow.

Sometimes, it takes several batches of trial-and-error cookie making to find the recipe that works. But I’m always surprised by the way so many of the more daunting cookie challenges work out perfectly on the first try. (Sometimes, it’s the simple requests that don’t work out on the first go-round.)

One of the craziest challenges I’ve faced so far was when Sister Savanna Sanborn asked me to re-create the four houses of Hogwarts in cookie form. This was an extra-large challenge not just because it required four different cookie recipes (I’ve since added a caveat to my rules – no cheating the system to ask for multiple recipes at once! Each separate cookie challenge request has to be accompanied by a separate encouraging letter.)

 … But I’ve never actually read Harry Potter. 

I thought about reading it way back when the first book started gaining traction here in the US. It seemed interesting and I thought maybe I'd pick up a copy. But then one day, I had the TV on while I was folding some laundry, and there was an interview with J.K. Rowling on one of those morning talk shows. They talked about her life story and how she came up with the idea for this book, and a little bit about the plot and the wizarding world... By the time I turned off the TV, I had a vague, unsettled feeling that I couldn't place. The book still seemed kind of interesting, but I felt uneasy about it for some reason I never could quite put my finger on. So I decided not to go down that path. And even with all of the pressure from friends who LOVE it over the many years since, I could never shake that dark feeling I got from listening to Rowling speak about her book. (Now, nearly 20 years later, I'm beginning to wonder if it wasn't the book itself, but the author that gave me that unsettled feeling. I get the same dark feeling every time I see her name pop up in my social media feeds... but not when my kids talk about the books, which they have all now read.)

Anyway, the point is that I've never read it. And I doubt I ever will. I know enough about the story to fake my way through a conversation with people who have read the series or watched the movies once. I know practically all the spoilers, and I can even remember most of the character names. And I have enough friends who are obsessed with the books that I catch more references than you’d think. But I don't have any compulsion to actually read them. (I did watch the first movie once. It wasn't my favorite.)

So you can see my dilemma. I can’t call a cookie challenge truly successful unless the person requesting the cookies is satisfied with the results. And I was afraid I might mix up the characteristics of the houses, making a Huffledoor and a Ravenpuff or a Slither claw and a Griffin poof. And with four cookies to invent, I didn’t have time to read a whole series of books. (And even if I did have time, I really didn't have the inclination to do it.)

But my daughter has read the whole series more than once, and my friend and critique partner extraordinaire, Ashley Turcotte (who is also one of the best copy editors you’ll ever meet, by the way), may be the biggest Harry Potter fan anywhere. (I can’t say for sure, since I don’t spend a ton of time in that fandom, but she even finds hidden HP references in my manuscripts from time to time, which is quite a feat in itself.) My daughter and Ashley walked me through the various characteristics of the houses and acted as my go-to taste-testers to make sure the cookies fit. And before long, I had four fabulous cookie recipes. One for each Hogwarts house.

My favorite, of course, are the Huffle Puffs inspired cookies. I’m told by everyone I know that this is the Harry Potter house I belong in, so that could be why they’re my favorite. But really, I think it’s because they’re just so fun to eat. Kind of like a deconstructed chocolate chip cookie, they’re familiar and unexpected all at once. A little cookie puff with a surprising center.

S'mores Puffs

You will need:

2 c. butter

1 c. dark brown sugar

1 c. sugar

4 eggs

1 tbsp. baking powder

2 tsp. vanilla

1 tsp. salt

5 c. flour

mini marshmallows

1 pkg. chocolate chips

Cream together butter and sugars.

Add eggs, baking powder, vanilla, and salt.

Beat in flour, until fully incorporated.

Chill dough for 30 minutes to 1 hour.

Portion dough with ½-inch cookie scoop, and press each cookie ball into a flat disc. Place a mini marshmallow in the center of each, and wrap the dough around the marshmallow, pinching the edges together to seal.

Place balls on parchment-lined cookie sheet, and chill for 15 to 30 minutes.

Bake at 375 degrees Fahrenheit for 9 minutes.

Let sit for a minute or two, then remove cookies to a wire rack to cool completely.

In a small, glass bowl, melt chocolate chips in the microwave for one minute. Stir, then microwave for 15-30 seconds at a time, stirring in between, until the chocolate is fully melted. Drizzle over the top of the cooled cookie puffs.